She was healed

Seven years ago today we lost a beautiful, kind, smart, witty and strong woman. Amber was 22 and leukemia took her from us.

Today on the drive in to work - I was flooded with memories. Memories of this day - seven years ago - when a circle of friends had their faith rocked to the core. A circle of friends who hadn't believed that their friend would actually die from cancer. Of course she wouldn't - not when thousands of people were praying - every day - for God to touch and heal her body. She is only 22. We believed. We had faith. We had hope.

And then - she was healed. But not in the way we wanted.

Seven years ago today I posted a new entry on The Amber Zone - a blog (though it wasn't called a blog back then) several of us had created to keep everyone updated on how her chemo treatments and eventual bone marrow transplant was going. People from all over the world visited it - friends, family, strangers. Amber would sit in her hospital bed at Vandy and enjoy reading through the comments people posted - encouraging and lifting her up.

Seven years ago today Brenda, her mom, told me to post this - "Amber has been healed. Her pain is gone. She is with Him."

It took a long time for her circle of friends to accept God's will. We questioned Him - and I believe God understands how we cannot sometimes understand His plan. He understands that we do wonder - HOW CAN THIS BE YOUR WILL? WHY? He understands our pain and suffering and questioning ... even when we do not.

But now - seven years later - we understand more. And yet we still grieve the loss of our friend. So many things I will never forget.

I will never forget Amber getting striped tan lines. She had a black and white striped swimsuit - and she tanned through the white stripes. It was the funniest thing. Especially to a fair-skinned redhead.

I will never forget all the trips to Gatlinburg, Knoxville, Florida - our circle of friends went on lots of trips together. We played practical jokes. We were like a family.

I will never forget staying in the tiny rooms at Breezy Point with Amber on a mission trip. Staying up late at night talking about Wade and my latest crush.

I will never forget Amber and Wade (her husband) finding each other when Amber was only a freshman in high school. They were best friends - she made him light up. They married during her last year of college. To some it seemed they were so young - and had seriously dated only each other - and then getting married so young. But now - you see God's hand in it. She had a great love during her short lifetime.

I won't forget a huge group of us rolling a friend's house during the bachelorette party for my sister-in-law and almost getting arrested for it. Amber was sitting in the passenger seat with the leftover toliet paper when the policeman stopped us. He asked us if we had just rolled that house - and in all seriousness she said "Yes, sir. We sure did." The policeman just laughed and waved us on.

I remember going through the drive-through at Taco Bell and every single time - we would sing the gordita song to the cashier. These are the things you do when you're a teenager. Silly things. We did a good rendition of the gordita song though. :)

I will never forget ordering take-out when she was in the hospital - and playing board games so loudly that the nurse came in to tell us to "keep it down a little ... Oh - nevermind - its good for there to be laughter on this floor!"

And then there are things I will be forever changed by experiencing.

I will never - ever - forget seeing my brother, my boyfriend, and four other friends being the pallbearers at Ambers funeral. Young Men. Boys, really. It is an unnatural sight.

I won't ever forget hearing our friend Tim play a beautiful song he wrote for Amber at her funeral. (Tim - who's wife Heather is now fighting for her life in Knoxville after being hit by a drunk & high-on-cocaine loser in a wreck 2 weeks ago.)

I won't ever forget the prayer service we had during DiscipleNow weekend at our church for Amber. The church was packed. Where two are more are gathered ...

I will never forget her parents - Brenda & Mike - unflinching faith. The testimony of their lives is one of complete faith and trust in God's perfect plan for Amber's life. I will always love and treasure them.

I won't ever forget Amber planning her funeral. She had the song "Friends" played for us.

And friends are friends forever
If the Lord's the Lord of them
Though it's hard to let you go
In the Father's hands we know
That a lifetime's not too long
To live as friends

I won't ever forget Dr. Jay - our pastor - reading this from the inside cover of Amber's bible.